you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
