im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
