the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
