dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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