but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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