just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
