I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
