He is such a slut. More and more my type.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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