Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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