At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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