I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
