Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
i out mim tonsoeep
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