Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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