he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
