Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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