Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
My vagina just recognized that song.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
