And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Everything about him screamed your future.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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