Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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