And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
