So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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