I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
My ass is underappreciated
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
