I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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