i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
