Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
