I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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