Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
ttyl tear gas
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
