what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
