Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Are we still banned from the library?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
