Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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