she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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