plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
