Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
