There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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