Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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