Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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