Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize