Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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