Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
