epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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