she looked like the before picture.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize