We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
