Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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