this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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