dude i'm inner monologue high
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
