Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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