Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
