Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
