Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
