I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
