She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i out mim tonsoeep
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