I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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