dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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