do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
