You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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