oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
