i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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