I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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