yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
