O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i think i have two assholes
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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