I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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